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  • Writer's pictureD. Randall Faro


Most people are aware of TMI – too much information. In this so-called Age of Information, there is another phenomenon that could be labled TUI – Totally Useless Information. Here’s some.

In a MLB game, when a player hits a home run some hidden machine measures the “launch angle” of “11 degrees” or “21 degrees” or whatever and shows it for the TV viewer. For what earthly reason would I care what angle the ball leaves the bat? You can’t come up with one? Didn’t think so.

If the Barbie doll was life size, her measurements would be: 39-23-33. Well, let’s all get excited together. There is no useful reason in the world that anyone needs to know this.

There is an average of 61,000 people airborne over the US in any given hour. I wonder if the research included hang gliders and hot air balloonists. That might raise to number to 61,001.

The only continent without reptiles or snakes is Antarctica. Thank goodness somebody researched that because I am seriously looking at a condo complex which is being built next to the Ellsworth Research Station. If there were cobras there, forget it.

Pilgrims ate popcorn at the first Thanksgiving dinner. Knowing this is good for producing guilt that we now leave it out of our inauthentic Thanksgiving meals. History with no discernable purpose.

It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs. Well, nuts. That wrecks my plan to purchase a lactating Guernsey for my 2nd–floor apartment.

The lint that collects in the bottom of your pockets is called gnurr. If I’m ever in the presence of the queen of England I can use this word to impress the socks off her.

The line between the two numbers in a fraction is called the vinculum. Make my day!

“Have a nice day” is spoken an average of 67,987,223 times a day worldwide. Have a nice day.

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