Am I happy with myself . . . my values, attitudes, and the actions that flow from them? Another way of putting it: when I look in the mirror, do I like what I see?
Answering that question always includes the acknowledgement that one always has aspects which could use some fine tuning . . . maybe in some areas the need for significant improvement. The time-worn aphorism that “nobody is perfect” notes that all of us have attitudes and actions that need some measure of reforming. The issues, including their severity and relative importance, vary. But suffice it to say that we are all an ongoing work, hopefully progressing in positive directions.
Back to the initial question: do I like what I see? If the answer is basically yes, it means one is comfortable in one’s skin. It means, even given the continual need for self-inspection and development, one does not need to lose sleep over another person communicating that one is unacceptable. If I like myself and someone else doesn’t, that is not my problem. It’s theirs.
To be sure, self-esteem can be overblown. It’s possible for one’s view of oneself to be out of whack with reality. But if a level-headed personal assessment, corroborated by valued friends, perhaps even a professional in the field of human behavior, leads to that “liking what I see,” then while others might lose sleep over their opinion of you, don’t lose a wink yourself.
A lack of self-esteem is almost pandemic in North American society. It makes for many a ruined day for many people. An unhealthy share of the time poor self-image is the result of people inculcating the negative criticism of others into one’s being. It doesn’t have to be that way, and the sooner an individual identifies and affirms their true self, the sooner one will be able to disown the problems of others.
This is obviously a subject upon which reams could be written . . . and have been. I simply lift up the concern here and encourage each individual to embrace the goodness within. If that’s not good enough for someone else, too bad. It’s good enough for me.
