Don’t ask me what I believe or what my deepest values are. Watch me.
The reason for saying “don’t ask me” is that I can say anything. I can actually imagine that what I’m thinking or saying is what I truly believe . . . what is foundationally important to me. But the truth of the matter is that actions tell the tale. What we do – or don’t do – reveals what is, in fact, important to us.
One might believe that honesty is the best policy. But cheating on one’s taxes or repeatedly lying to family members belies that supposed belief.
One might think that life is a gift and that taking care of one’s body is part of a grateful response. But continually polluting oneself with liquor and other hard drugs, smoke, and/or unhealthy foods belies that thought.
One can convince oneself that forgiveness is divine, even basing that conviction on religious faith. But failing to forgive, holding grudges, and seeking revenge belies that conviction.
One can opine that being positive is a good baseline philosophy for living. But being judgmental, caustically critical, regularly pessimistic, and consistently negative belies that mindset.
Of course, obviously, to be sure . . . everyone makes mistakes. Not a one of us acts one hundred percent in concert with what we believe to be our deep-down values. But I’m talking about consistent patterns. The crux of the matter is owning up to mistakes and pledging (both within oneself and, perhaps, publicly) to diligently work at doing better. And then working.
There’s a time-worn saying: Integrity is what you do when no one is watching. A laudable life objective is to live one’s life in a way that there is never fear that someone may be watching.
